A Few Words on Technology and Miley Cyrus

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately is how much I miss Tennessee. So much so that I watch "The Hannah Montana Movie." Now, let's get one thing straight. Before you hate on Miley Cyrus or judge me, she is a fact of culture. She may be another Disney Channel cookie cut out, but she's doing something. Miley Cyrus is just another cheesy as hell pop star, but she is an idol to little teenie-boppers everywhere.
What have you done?

The movie is set in a small town in Tennessee. This is the epitome of Small Town U.S.A. There's only a feww scenes with cell phones and that is the extent of technology. They spent their time with their family or actually doing things.


It seems that we have all these distractions and we're still never satisfied. There was a time before video games, internet, etc. and I wonder how often people complained of boredom. As I am constantly reminded at work, "there is always something to do." Isn't that true in every aspect of life? When I was younger, my father made me study in the bathroom. He thought nothing in there could possibly distract me. I still found the doorknob more entertaining than my notes. There was always something else to do. Are we spoiled by technology? Or are we ruined by it?

Basically, I jsut want away from technology. I want to live in a place where you don't have to constantly check Facebook or tweet about eating a sandwich. Or, if this place doesn't exist I would like to spend a few months in a cabin on a mountain. Electricity isn't even required. I'd like to grow my own food and spend my time reading, writing, drawing, exploring, learning, building, or whatever strikes my fancy at the time.

To not have to worry about watching the Hills every week, constantly checking Facebook for status comments, or Tweeting about that damn sandwich would be so nice. Then again, I would be so lost whenever I did rejoin the world. For now it's just a nice day dream.

Time to go tweet about posting this blog now!


((P.S. I do not, in fact, watch The Hills or any other MTV programming.))

Where the Wild Things Aren't

While watching the new movie "Where the Wild Things Are" i kept wishing over and over again that i was a little boy again. True, i was never a little boy, but i was once wild and free. My imagination roamed free and everyone else was merely a character in my own reality. I don't want to write a movie review or say how it changed my life. In all honesty, it didn't. It was a nice movie with characters i could relate to. And it also made me want to go to the park with my friends and run chase each other around screaming and hollering. Ending the "wild rumpus" with a group nap.
Believe it or not i have had those days before. And those were very good days.

NO U TURN

Do you believe in signs? Does the universe try to send you messages to guide you in the right direction? Or is it all merely coincidences that we notice simply because we want to notice them? I ask this because lately I have been seeing all sorts of things that could be interpreted as signs, or just me looking harder for them. As every day goes by i just get more and more homesick. I don't know if i'm missing my home, or literally sick of being home. I guess knowing the answer to that would require knowing where "home" really is.
For years, even before my mom died, i would cry myself to sleep at night saying over and over again, "I want to go home." This always confused my parents because, to them, I was home. For the most part I would consider myself a happy child, but I had my dark times too. I always defined home as wherever you were happiest and surrounded by people who love you. That explanation worked for a while, but now it's causing more problems and a little bit of stress. I can be truly happy and completely at peace in both Tennessee and New Orleans. And in both places I have great friends and family, who i know love me. Now the problem is, do I have two homes?
I always want to bring my New Orleans friends to Tennessee with me, and the same with Tennessee friends. I feel like there's always a big part of me that you don't get to see because it's still living in the other place.

On a daily basis now I see at least 2 cars from Tennessee. Or i'll see something that will bring me back to some place in my mind in Tennessee. This morning I woke up from a dream and had the worst feeling of disappointment when I realized I wasn't flying to Tennessee in a few hours. Is this the universe telling me to go back? Or is my brain just creating all these things to make me miss it even more? If I left tomorrow and moved to Tennessee, it would only be another six months till I was wishing I was here again.

If I went be my life would be a series of U turns. I think I'll turn right next. See where that road leads me.

A Journey Back To My Wings

It happens every year, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I always wake up optimistic on my birthday, knowing full well I'm not going to feel any differently, but for some reason I still always hope for it. It even carries over to the day after as well. Usually, I don't think much about it, but today i was feeling rather sad about it. Almost miserable even. I was especially perturbed about having to run home from the bus stop in a down pour while carrying a lot of things. I got off the bus, took off my shoes, and made a run for it.

I think i made it two strides and a puddle before i started smiling uncontrollably. As I ran through the rain in my plaid shirt and denim shorts I felt the happiest I think I had in years. It was a different kind of happy at least. It was like the rain was washing away all of the dark and sad of the past 8 years or so of my life. Like a shower after caving, i could almost see all the muck rolling off of me. Recently I've started realizing that I've been in a kind of sleep for a while. As if I just tried to numb myself from everything and hibernate until it was all over. Running through the rain brought me back to my summers in Tennessee when I would dance in the rain outside my Grandmother's house. The same way a quick whiff of a familiar scent can stir up so many dormant memories and emotions in a person, this shower was my awakening to my old self and to simple happiness.

I continued to walk home smiling and even laughing some as I thought about those memories. In stead of making me sad like they used to, thinking of those day made me even happier. Which is the different kind of happiness I felt. For the first time, maybe ever, I was optimistic that i could be that girl again. The girl who danced in the rain because it made her feel good. I wasn't sad about those days being gone, but excited to make them happen again. I started thinking of ideas about that and decided to run with them. Literally.

Running isn't something i do very often. In fact, i avoid it at all costs. The culmination of bad knees and scoliosis make running a less than desirable activity. Despite these things, i've always loved running and, pain or not, I was going to run in the rain and it was going to be amazing. Since I smoke more than I run, my endurance isn't really what it should be. Today, I ran about what I could normally handle and about 2 blocks more. I had made a goal and I wasn't quitting until I made it. As I ran and walked i thought about all the things in my life that i didn't like, the places on my path where I'd strayed, and kept making goals. I ran until my muscles were burning and stinging. I ran until I got that rush.

As I made my way back home I kept smiling, despite the stinging in my legs every time I took a step. This is a new chapter in my life. I can't keep living the way I am. I have so much in me that I want to say, and so much to give, I'm not doing anyone any good the way I was. I don't know exactly what happened or why, but I feel like I put pieces of myself away in boxes somewhere. It's time to take them off the shelf and do things differently.

So in the end, after my birthday I do feel different. Part of it was the rain the woke me up and brought me back. And part of it was my choice to be different. Do I have everything in my life figured out now? Of course not. There's still so much i have to figure out, but at least I've got a running start on it. And whenever I'm covered in the grit of the world; I'll just dance in the rain.

Cats and Men. Such similar creatures.

My cat just spent the past half hour curled up on the couch next to me watching Sex and the City. It was really sweet and nice having her curled up in my lap purring and licking my hand. Then, when she was done she bit my hand and took off. Much like most of my past relationships. If you can call them that.
I love my cat, and the species in general. However, when i tell people i love cats i always finish with, " i love them cause they're assholes. Women always talk about how "guys suck" and "men are assholes." Yet, we love them still.
It's called nature when a cat only wants you when they want you. It's something supposedly ingrained in their DNA that lets them only love you when it's convenient to them. So what is men's excuse? If men and women are from the same species why is it they can seem to only care when they want to? All too often do guys seem to be "all in" for the first 30 minutes. Then, when they're done they can just go like it's no big deal.
I'm not trying to sound like some desperate girl with a keyboard and internet access. So please, don't read me that way. It is just beyond my comprehension as to why it's so easy for some people to only love when it's convenient for them.
For that half an hour with my sweet kitten i felt how much she loved me. Then i felt that sharp bite to let me know that our time was over. I was then left alone on the couch to be ignored till tonight when she was looking for a comfy bed to sleep in. She'll love me again, but only when she feels like it.

Despite all the frustration, lonliness, and emotional unavailability of assholes i still love them. Men and cats alike.

Start of Something New

So i guess it's high time i got back into blogging. Hollie has decided to start a music blog focusing on the Indie Rock music scene here in NOLA. Something i would LOVE to be part of. However it's her baby and don't want to try to be part of it without her asking me. It did get me thinking though. I'm not that much of an opinionated person so writing for her blog to critique bands and such would not really be my thing. On the flip-side a more journalistic approach would be.
When talking to her on the phone about it she mentioned a few investigative sides to it which really intrigued me. I'm no music guru by far, but i do know people. And i like talking to people as well. On my walk to buy more cigarettes, which i said i needed to quit, i thought more and more about it and how i could help. I think the thing i would like the most would be talking to the bands and the venues.
I don't really know. It's just another exciting whim i want to run with. At least it got me thinking about myself and my future though. People ask me all the time, "What are you going to school for?" I just say i'm not sure and mention anthropology. The smart ass answer i'd like to give is, "To learn."
The reason i like the movie Accepted so much was because it showed how dumb a college really can be. I just want to learn and i want to choose what it is that i learn without having to deal with all the other non-sense classes that i really don't care about. For instance, i want to take voice lessons, but i don't think i can without being a music major. Most likely i won't be able to take creative writing without an english major or journalism without first declaring journalism as my major.
What if Hollie does ask me to help with the blog and i get to do the more factual aspect of the music scene? What if i realize that interviews and informative articles are my calling?

Blah blah blah. This is why i've avoided blogging for so long. Whenever i read stuff like this i think, "get a journal." Maybe i should just stick with that.

Till i get a new stroke of "genius" that turns out to be a disorganized piece of babbling,
Kat

More Like a LiveJournal Post

So today i bought a Diana+ camera. Though i really shouldn't have due to my current lack of funds. Whatevs man, whatevs.








For those who don't know this is a "crappy" camera made completely out of plastic. Known mostly for it's grainy images, sometimes blurry, and over saturated colors. To the average person just trying to capture a Kodak moment it's not worth much. However, to a more creative mind this camera can take an ordinary anything and with it's natural tweaking, make your subject much more artsy and unique. My two favorite things.


So there's not much more to this post really. Just felt like bragging about my super awesome new purchase. Hopefully i will soon be using my own products of the Diana+ camera to spice up my blogs.






If i ever magically find time to do both. I'm ucky when i have a minute of spare thought for these.


Too bad i never have anything much useful to say...